Yoga and Childhood Trauma

http://soundmedicine.org/post/childhood-trauma-leads-brains-wired-fear

Wanted to share this article that a friend of mine shared on FB tonight.

My response:

Interesting.  The environment I was raised in was one of mental and emotional upheaval/abuse. I moved out on my own shortly after my 17th birthday. When I was about 19 one of my Aunts sent me a book called Yoga, Youth, and Reincarnation by Jess Stearn, that she had read in the 70s. I started reading up on yoga and practicing it. The whole idea for me was to become whole and live from that perspective. To unify mind, body, and soul. To heal all the parts of me that I left behind (suppressed, abandoned) because of fear. Yoga has been a blessing throughout my adult life. One of the things I love about it is, no matter where I am I can practice it. I only need my body (no other equipment) and a little space. I’ve practiced in bathrooms and hallways in the very recent past. Starting with it at a young age, as the brain was still malleable, has been helpful, because, let’s say I haven’t practiced in awhile, like I got sick, or busy with work and relationships or whatever, as soon as I start back my body reacts favorably, like, “Oh, it’s time to be healthy.” It’s like it’s hard wired. It’s hard to describe but in my body there is this feeling of familiarity that is almost immediate. So, nuerobiofeedback along with the practice of yoga in any of its forms will help these young survivors of abuse and neglect and advance the understanding of the science of yoga and its many benefits.

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Gratitude In The Struggle

I’ve been not feeling well since Sunday night. Nausea, both ears aching, muscle weakness. I had to wait an extra day to head back to San Diego and Tuesday morning when I traveled I was sick on the train. Feeling Horribly miserable. I had to miss work, (when I really can’t afford to miss work! I need the money) and had to postpone two meetings with two of my Professors. Yesterday, (Wednesday) I had a dentist appointment where I thought I was getting my wisdom tooth taken out. There is another tooth that’s been bothering me so I thought they’d do both. It turns out that the wisdom tooth wasn’t x-rayed during my previous visit. They wouldn’t do it. The dentist also told me that when I get the x-ray it may show that I need to be referred to an oral surgeon. Lucky for me I’ll be able to go in next Friday to have it looked at.Tooth_Extraction_Lower_right The tooth I got extracted is on the lower right side. I didn’t rest as much as I maybe should have today. I was out getting my prescription filled for the pain meds after a mad dash to try to catch the train to head back to my Aunt’s. I was starving when I finally got back to the place that I am staying so I made tomato soup.Looking at the aftercare after I ate o_O I saw that I wasn’t supposed to have anything hot because it could dissolve the blood clot. I talked a lot lot today where as with my last extraction I didn’t really talk the first two days. I was alone for the most part because my Aunt and Uncle were out of town. Lastly, because I haven’t been feeling well the last couple of days I was tired of lying in bed so I went for a 30 minute walk tonight around campus. When I first left the apartment and crossed the street heading to campus I was like, “Whoa, I’m exhausted”. I didn’t turn around and come back and rest though. I overrode my body’s need and I hope I don’t pay for it as I recover. If so, it’ll be because I didn’t take care of myself very well after the extraction. I’m usually really careful. I didn’t feel the tooth come out at all though. It happened fairly fast and so I think because of that I felt like I could do more. I did nap for 4 hours today though so maybe that will counter all the running around I did beforehand. Fingers crossed!

Gratitude: 1) Dentist 2) pain meds 3) Moo 4)Trudy for the $1 I needed to ride the bus (I didn’t know my monthly pass was all done), 5) The bus driver for saying he’d let me ride for free because he saw that I had just been to the dentist and felt compassion for me 6) Elizabeth for taking me to the Trolley station (we were at the light when the Coaster just rode by!!), then taking me to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled, then to the store because I forgot to get soup while waiting at the pharmacy, for companionship, and last for finding my phone when I thought I’d lost it. 7) My Aunt for listening to my voicemails and texting with me the last couple of days. I’ve been feeling out of sorts and stressed about money, the job, school, and my physical health which is affecting my mental health, you know? 8) For Netflix for real. It’s such a comfort to be able to stream shows/movies, especially stuff I’ve seen before. Currently rewatching Dollhouse 9) My Professors for the modified syllabi and allowing me leeway to do these lab classes 10) Myself for practicing self-care, patience, and gratitude even when it’s hard. Today I did my self massage and yoga because I know I feel better when I do it. And earlier at the dentist, the dentist and I got into it and I was really upset but decided to do my “with gratitude” prayer and was able to slip into that true space and get on with things.

Here are a few pictures of me and Moo, (the cat that belongs to the place I’m staying) She’s a love bug!

Me and Moo_Cute

The morning after Moo and I met 🙂 2-4-15 #1

Me_Moo_Rest_Chest

The morning after Moo and I met 🙂 2-4-15 #2

Moo keeping me company yesterday when I wasn't feeling good #1

Moo keeping me company yesterday when I wasn’t feeling good #1

Moo keeping me company yesterday when I wasn't feeling good #2

Moo keeping me company yesterday when I wasn’t feeling good #2

What Is My Body Saying?

My body is trying to rid itself of somethings. My body is trying to for a state of homeostasis. I’m rooting for it.

This all started with nausea and I still feel it. My eyes feel tired and irritated, both ears feel achy, my body hurts, I feel a bit of mucous movement in my chest and throat, I threw up a little early this morning and almost again about 20 minutes ago. I hate throwing up. I cried a very little. Ever since I was a little kid when I’m sick to my stomach, I cry.

How do I know I’m sick besides all those symptoms?

Because I don’t want to be in bed. I want to do stuff. Like ride my bike to the Library or..honestly that’s way too ambitious. Maybe at this point I’d just like to sit up for a bit and not feel all hurty. I’ve brushed my teeth though and was going to hop in the shower but I’m exhausted. I’ve made a cup of camomile tea and I’m going to do my best to drink it.

In between resting today, I may watch some old episodes of Dollhouse on Netflix. Or maybe I’ll watch Happy Valley or Criminal Minds.

I hope this is just a one day thing.  I really do.