The Illusion of Strength

I woke up feeling rested and clear. For the past week my schedule has changed. I’ve been going to bed after sunrise, (my preferred schedule) sometimes after 6a and as late as 8am. I’ve been waking in the afternoon, usually between 1400-1530. I still do my “morning” self massage with coconut oil and then do light yoga. I’ve been riding my bike at night (I love night bike rides!), usually about 30-40 minutes. This week I had been feeling heavy and lethargic but today I feel strong, the tone of my body felt good when I did the massage. It felt strong. I felt strong. My mind feels clearer. I feel more capable. More confident. I’ve decided to focus on getting my physical body healthy again in the hope that the mind and emotions will follow and maybe form a nice ménage à trois.

There are a lot of things that I want to do this year. I want to continue studying how to (code) program, using Khan Academy and Codecademy as my primary resources. Khan Academy is brilliant. Last summer I started watching The Art History videos. I want to check out the Biology section and the Economics section. I plan to start studying music theory again. Also, write more. At least a journal. To write in a journal will help me organize my thoughts better. I’ve been all bottled up and confused and unsure about my future. My thinking has been muddled. I’ve primarily been worried and my mindset has been one of avoidance.
I head back to San Diego the day after tomorrow. Back to work. A friend of mine has offered his couch to me for 4 days and then I’ll come back here to my Aunt and Uncle’s. They’ll be out of town so I’ll have the house to myself for 4 days.
As far as Fuck The Limits! 30 Day Art Challenge, I’ve been editing photos, sketching, writing terrible little 4 line poems but you know, still creating and I am glad for it.

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