Fuck The Limits! 30 Day Art Challenge: An Invitation

I participated last January for the whole month and then sporadically throughout the year! The idea is to create something everyday for the month of January. This is an invitation. A call. Let’s create! 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/groups/FTLArt/

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Happy New Year’s Eve! and Things To Let Go Of

I just read this article by Shannon Kaiser and it resonates with me so I’m sharing 🙂

Here are 20 things to let go of in order to reach unlimited happiness.

1. Let go of all thoughts that don’t make you feel empowered and strong.

2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.

3. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.

4. Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that “whatever” was exactly what you wanted.

5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.

6. Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you don’t like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it.

7. Let go of thinking you are damaged; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are.

8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.

9. Let go of being the “go-to person” for everyone, all the time; stop blowing yourself off and take care of yourself first … because you matter.

10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you.

11. Let go of thinking there’s a right and wrong way to do things or to see the world. Enjoy the contrast and celebrate the diversity and richness of life.

12. Let go of cheating on your future with your past. It’s time to move on and tell a new story.

13. Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.

14. Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn’t mean the love was wrong.

15. Let go of the need to do more and be more; for today, you’ve done the best you can, and that’s enough.

16. Let go of thinking you have to know how to make it happen; we learn the way on the way.

17. Let go of your money woes — make a plan to pay off debt and focus on your abundance.

18. Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and stop focusing on others.

19. Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding.

20. Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you!

One Hour Devoted To…

I used to write everyday. I used to write everyday, no matter what. Whether I was tired from work, dealing with family or relationship issues, a little tipsy, no matter the state of mind, no matter the location, I wrote.  I did it for almost two years (2007/2008 seems about right). I think the goal was at least one page a day. I’ve been thinking about getting into that practice again but setting it by time instead of by page. I think I need to invest the time to learn the craft. To practice the craft of spinning words into dreams. I am going to think of some sort of a schedule and work myself up to an hour a day at some point in 2015. It’s entirely doable. I am not registering for school until the Fall,which affords me the time to make this necessary change in my life.

I feel inspired because a friend posted a poem by Khalil Gibran today on FB. It is a beautiful one that speaks to me:

The Playground of Life XIX

One hour devoted to the pursuit of Beauty
And Love is worth a full century of glory
Given by the frightened weak to the strong.

From that hour comes man’s Truth; and
During that century Truth sleeps between
The restless arms of disturbing dreams.

In that hour the soul sees for herself
The Natural Law, and for that century she
Imprisons herself behind the law of man;
And she is shackled with irons of oppression.

That hour was the inspiration of the Songs
Of Solomon, an that century was the blind
Power which destroyed the temple of Baalbek.

That hour was the birth of the Sermon on the
Mount, and that century wrecked the castles of
Palmyra and the Tower of Babylon.

That hour was the Hegira of Mohammed and that
Century forgot Allah, Golgotha, and Sinai.

One hour devoted to mourning and lamenting the
Stolen equality of the weak is nobler than a
Century filled with greed and usurpation.

It is at that hour when the heart is
Purified by flaming sorrow and
Illuminated by the torch of Love.
And in that century, desires for Truth
Are buried in the bosom of the earth.
That hour is the root which must flourish.
That hour of meditation, the hour of
Prayer, and the hour of a new era of good.

And that century is a life of Nero spent
On self-investment taken solely from
Earthly substance.

This is life.
Portrayed on the stage for ages;
Recorded earthly for centuries;
Lived in strangeness for years;
Sung as a hymn for days;
Exalted but for an hour, but the
Hour is treasured by Eternity as a jewel.

Happy Christmas! Giving Thanks!

Happy Christmas to everyone!

Gratitude: a calm, steady, mind brought forth from perhaps, being helpful, giving, moving my body, cooking, Christmas music (Whitney Houston, Temptations), my Aunt’s presence, dutifulness, purpose, my Uncle’s sense of humor. Their continuous example of Christianity in context and application.

I am grateful for vision, talent, strength, actors, actresses, writers, directors, producers, stories, books.

I am grateful for women. Always women, my love immeasurable.

I am thankful for those who count me as a friend and/or family member. I am thankful for those who are patient with me and inspire me to share that kindness with others. I am thankful that I have lived to see this day and experience this moment.

I am thankful for romance, romantic stories, and pink, which for me represents Peace, Love, Harmony, Understanding, Compassion. I am thankful for the ability to accept myself for who I am and by extension, I can accept others for who they are.

I wish for all who read these words, every goodness that can be imagined, that all wounds heal, that all hearts are healthy and do what they do best: Help us love and live, our minds and actions in perfect harmonious flow.
Truly, a Universe.

And Gratitude: Because I Am

I write a gratitude list most every day. Sometimes the list is only 2 or 3 things. I for sure know that as shitty as things can be, mainly because of my perception and attitude, there is still always at least one thing to be grateful for. Here’s my gratitude list for today:
1) Anger, you know that deep to the bones, inescapable anger
2) Frustration
3) Two friends checking in with me today. Thank you Doe and Auriel.
4) Bike ride at dusk and the freedom feeling that came from it
5) 24 hour stores that allow me to walk around and relax a bit (a nightly ritual I had for most of 2011. I do it now when I’m staying close enough to a store)
6) Fab experimental hot chocolate (swiss hot cocoa mix and caramel hot cocoa mix, made with almond milk, hazelnut non-dairy gluten free creamer, topped with whipped cream) Turned out yummy! I think I may add a little water to it tomorrow. I feel it needed to be a tad less sweet. Or maybe make sure I use unsweetened Almond Milk instead of Original or Vanilla.
7) Presents via Amazon and UPS from J. Two books!: Two Boys Kissing and Brown Girl Dreaming and A Very Glee Christmas on DVD
8) My Auntie Deb and Uncle Joe for this time we have together/share together
9) FB for the ability to see all the pictures of my friend’s kids doing Christmas type things
10) Surround sound in the living room working! (The system that was put in over a year ago has never really worked properly. With the assistance of my helpers, my Aunt and Uncle, I calibrated the speakers and everything sounds wonderful. Settings saved!)
11) Being of service
12) coping skills
13) coping skills
14) coping skills

Bike_Ride_View_1

View from my usual bike path.

Not So Soft

My body is changing fast. Oatmeal. My body loves oatmeal. And Yoga. My body loves yoga. The thing that is doing my head in, is that while my body is easily toning up and becoming firm and strong, my mind is lagging behind. My mind is like a whipping boy for my emotions. I woke up angry today and I feel angry right now. I feel tired. I don’t want to go back to San Diego without a place to live, but I have a job there.  Gotta keep money flowing. And really I can’t stay here at my Aunt and Uncle’s place. They are fantastic human beings, there’s just not that much to do here. I’d get depressed. I’m already feeling low.

I feel worse than “this is temporary”. Worse than being in between. I feel like I’m nowhere. Nothing. Nothing to hold onto. No anchor. No place of refuge. And when I look in the future, there is no resting place.  Collapsing. I feel like I am falling apart.

Hello

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